Grandparents

Monday morning check in (on Tuesday)

/ The Pastor / 7 Comments

Well…I am back after a long weekend.  And…like my awkward Thursday last week, I got a feeling this will be an awkward Tuesday since I was off yesterday.  My whole week is going to be thrown off.  Oh well…

Grandma:  The funeral mass for my grandma went very well.  The mass was held in the nursing home chapel with about 80 people present.  Nine of the 14 grandchildren were able to be there.  Needless to say it was a bitter sweet reunion.  After spending some fun, quality time together we realized that we need to get together more often.  So my wife and one of my other cousins are going to be planning something this year (at the very least a New Year’s Eve gathering).  Funerals and weddings should not be the only time family gets together.

Eulogy:  This was one of the toughest things I have done.  I spent some time sharing some memories of grandma…and was doing fine.  When I got to my closing (talking about grandma’s faith) then I started to have trouble…especially when I made eye contact with some of my cousins.  When I made eye contact the waterworks started.  I finished by sharing the Gospel.  Normally during a funeral that I preside at, I schedule the eulogy before the sermon so I can have the last word…sharing the Gospel.  On Saturday (at grandma’s funeral mass) the priest had me near the very end…so I had the last word.  Imagine that…a "Lutheran" proclamation of the Gospel at a Catholic mass.  Oh well…we are all brothers and sisters in Christ so what’s the difference?

Winter:  I love…I mean, like…wait a second…I use to enjoy…I mean…I am down right sick and tired of winter.  The bitterly cold temperatures and wind chills are getting old.  As you know I am training for the Twin Cities marathon.  Running on the treadmill is fine, but I need a change of scenery…I need to get outside, but I am not running outside if it is below zero.  Call me a wimp, but I want to enjoy my run without worrying if any limb is going to freeze and fall off.

Personal stewardship:  I haven’t given a report on this for a while.  My weight loss is going fairly well.  I have plateaued, but I am losing some weight.  Pants are feeling looser all the time which means I am putting on muscle mass while losing fat so therefore my weight is not going down as fast.  As for my training, I am on track and looking forward to registering for the Twin Cities marathon in April.

A message for the road:  "When Satan reminds you of your past remind him of his future"

Take care and God bless!
-edh-

Random Ramblings for an awkward Thursday

/ The Pastor / 2 Comments

Today is an awkward Thursday.  Every now and then I have these but not too often.  It is awkward because on a "normal" (whatever that means) Thursday I am engaging in sermon prep…but I am not preaching on Sunday so hence…no sermon prep.  But I am engaging in eulogy prep and in a lot of ways that is much tougher.

Tomorrow (Friday) Connie and I head home for the weekend with grandma’s Celebration of New Life service on Saturday.  I am looking forward to seeing cousins and aunts and uncles I haven’t seen for a while.  I am looking forward to spending a whole weekend at home without rushing back on Saturday for Sunday worship.  I am looking forward to relaxing and re-grouping after a difficult, bitter-sweet week (Grandma died Monday and my birthday was Tuesday).  It was hard to know what to feel at times and I think people around here did not exactly know how to respond.  I got so many birthday/sympathy wishes (something I have never received before in the same breath).  But there is one comment that I will always remember.  Yesterday (Wednesday) S came into my office to wish me a belated happy birthday and offer her condolences.  Then she said, "Grandma had her day on Monday and let you have your day yesterday.  What a gift and blessing for you."  And I thought that was such a neat comment.  One that I will remember and treasure always when Feb. 11 and 12 rolls around.  My grandma and I will always have this special connection – celebrating our "special days" back-to-back.  Thank you S.

Now I need to return to eulogy prep.  I am getting close to finishing, but I am not sure if I can actually and truly finish this.  It always seems that I am missing something.  But there is one thing that I am not going to miss.  I am going to share memories of grandma, but I am also going to make sure I finish my eulogy with the Gospel.  Our memories of grandma will always be with us, but there is one thing that will last forever…and that is the gift of eternal life we have through Jesus Christ.  What I am basically going to tell the family is to NOT say goodbye to grandma, but rather say, "see you later", because in Christ there are NO "good byes".

So with that I am off to "work".  I am not sure if I will have time to blog this weekend or not but we’ll see.  My family comes first.  Thank you again for your prayers.  Take care and God bless.

-edh-

Monday morning check in (Returning home)

/ The Pastor / 6 Comments

My grandma finally returned home at 12:30am this morning with my mom by her side.  The nursing home called my mom yesterday (Sunday) at 5:30am and told her she had better come up (grandma had been sustaining a temperature of 104 for about a day).  Mom stayed with grandma all day and said that grandma simply just slept away peacefully…just as we hoped she would do.  It has been a long month but I feel this has brought the family closer together (even though there were a couple of rough patches).  A funeral date has not been set yet but we are looking at Saturday Feb. 16 (I should know more later today). 

Thanks again for all your prayers and words of support.  They have all meant a lot to me.  Please continue to remember us as we plan a funeral and begin the process of coping with life without grandma.

To any of my cousins and other family members reading this:  NEVER EVER forget…this is not "good bye" but rather this is "see you later, grandma".  For through Jesus’ death and resurrection we have this promise of New Life.  Grandma and grandpa are finally reunited after nearly 4 years and we too will be reunited with them some day.  Shedding tears is fine, but don’t lose hope…we will see grandma and grandpa again.

Now I have an important task ahead of me…writing and giving the eulogy.  I have given a number of funeral sermons but this will be by far one of the hardest things I have done.  "Please God…grant me strength."

Well…that’s all I have for this edition of "Monday morning check in".  My grandma (and my family) are the only ones on my mind right now.  "See you later, grandma."

-edh-

Monday morning check in – 02/04/08

/ The Pastor / 3 Comments

Grandma
She is still hanging in there.  I am blown away each and every day that I do not receive "the phone call".  Grandma’s organs are shutting down/failing and she’s not eating or drinking much, yet she hangs on.  God indeed must have some more work for her to do.  I continue to pray for peace for my grandma and for my family.

The "Big Game"
Apparently there are some copyright laws about using the words "Super Bowl" (I am pretty sure I am not violating any here, but why take the chance).  Apparently the NFL does not make enough money off the "Big Game" so they have to insist that bars and restaurants (and churches) not show the "Big Game" on TVs larger than 55 inches diagonally.  Maybe we should all take a special offering to help support the work of the NFL since they are in such dire straits. (Did I get a little too feisty there?)

The "Big Game"…continued…
But I did watch the game and even hosted a modest "Big Game" party for a few friends.  As much as I enjoy watching football (and playing fantasy football), I am glad the "Big Game" is done.  I got tired of hearing about New England’s pursuit of perfection (as if they would have been "perfect" if they won the "Big Game").  "Perfection" is such a hard work to use in reference to any human achievement.  God is perfect…not creation…and definitely not any sports team no matter the record.

Snow
We are currently getting a blast of winter weather.  I went to the gym at 5:45 this morning and when I came out at 6:45am there was about 1/2 inch on the ground.  Now we have a couple inches, but the snow is beginning to taper off.  Apparently the BIG winter storm is fizzling out.  Imagine that.

Mini sermon of the week
"The Holy Scriptures are our letters from home" -St. Augustine-

God bless your day!
-edh-

Sunday morning prayer – 01/27/08

/ The Pastor / 2 Comments

Grandma update:  Grandma is still hanging in there.  She is getting weaker and weaker by the day and spends more and more time sleeping.  When she is awake, she just stares blankly at you.  She is basically eating nothing at all and drinking less and less water.  Combine this with the fact that her kidneys continue to fail I can’t believe it has gone on this long.  But I know that grandma is not suffering.  There are those in my family that think we are starving grandma to death.  I pray that they come to understand and that this does not cause a rift in the family.  These are not the memories I want to have of grandma’s death (fighting and hard feelings).  I pray grandma is at peace, that I (and the family) may see God’s will in all of this and that God takes her home soon (of course, GOD’S will be done).  Thank you again for your prayers.

Chilly run update:  Yesterday (Saturday Jan. 26) I ran the Okoboji Winter Games 5K run.  It was my first race in nearly three years.  I have been training for a marathon so I am used to marathon pace, not 5K pace (which is faster…obviously).  With all of this I did not expect to do too well.  Well…I did SURPRISINGLY well.  I finished with a time of 22 minutes and 40 seconds.  Out of 56 runners I finished in the top 15 and won my age group (only 5 runners) – thus receiving a medal…Whoo Hoo!  Needless to say I was (and am) very happy.  But I still have a lot more work to do.

Prayer:  Today is 3 Epiphany in the grand ole lectionary calendar and the Gospel text is from Matthew 4:12-25 (the beginning of Jesus’ ministry and the calling of the first disciples).  The sermon focus today will be on trust.  When Jesus calls us to follow him our response is nothing more than radical trust to drop our "old life" to follow Jesus (the giver of "New Life").  But trust is a tricky thing and something we, as sinful people, are sometimes hesitant to give out.  But in the end, if we can not trust Jesus, then who can we trust?  Let us pray…

Radical God, your love and mercy is so reckless, wild and free.  And maybe that explains why we are so often tentative when you say to us, "Come, follow me!". Give us courage to go where you go and to follow you with reckless abandon.  You did not call us to be spectators but you called us to be life savers.  Faithful God, kick us in the butt that we may leave our comfort zones and go where we never thought we would – leaving all that encumbers us on the shore.  We pray this in your most holy name, Amen!

Take care and God bless!

-edh-

Sunday morning prayer – 01/20/08

/ The Pastor / 9 Comments

Well…my grandma is still alive.  Earlier this week I suspected that she would die by the end of the week, but I should have known.  My grandma is a tough ole bird.  The problem is that grandma wants to go.  She keeps asking why it is so hard to die and why she can’t go home.  But there is something else…grandma says she can see Jesus and that she can see the gates opening for her…but she is afraid to move forward.  She keeps asking her kids to go with her or at least walk her to the gate.  My grandma is a person of strong faith, so considering everything she has gone through these last couple years, one would think she would run to those gates and embrace Jesus.  But something is holding her back.

My wife suggested that I read a book she just finished reading called 90 minutes in heaven.  Has anyone heard of that or read it?  Apparently it is about a pastor who dies in a car accident.  He was pronounced dead at the scene and covered up so the paramedics could attend to the injured.  Then another pastor showed up to pray over this dead pastor’s body…for 90 minutes…while he was in heaven.  The book is about is experience in heaven and his life afterward.  After my conversation with my mom last night and hearing the updates on my grandma, I think 90 minutes in Heaven might be my next read.

Anyway, please continue to remember my grandma.  I pray she has the courage and faith to walk forward and let go of this life.  This is not good bye, but rather "see you later".  Thank you, again, to everyone for your prayers.  It means a lot to me to know that I (and my family) are not alone in this.  Thank you.

Let us pray…
Gracious and merciful God…in Jesus Christ, you are indeed the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.  Because of that reality, we can go through this life knowing that nothing of this world can ultimately "harm" us.  In the end, you have won the day through the cross of Christ.  But we have a tendency to forget.  Our memories are short.  False gods wiggle their way into our lives and, on the surface, promise things we think we need.  Please keep our faith strong, strong enough to see through these empty promises to know that you and you alone are our source of life.  Thank God for never giving up on us when we stray.  Thank you God for leading us to eternal life.  Now God, I pray you may continue to lead my grandma and receive her with open arms.  Take away her fear and give her joy of what is to come.  Thank you God, through Jesus Christ your Son and our Lord I pray, Amen

God bless you in your faith and I pray you may always have the strength and courage to see what is to come for all of us, through the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.  Take care and God bless.

-edh-

God is AWESOME – part 2

/ The Pastor / 3 Comments

Allow me to continue with my story (testimony) of God’s awesome faithfulness and love…

As the pastor at Salem Lutheran Church and Belmont Lutheran Church I serve as the primary pastoral care giver (I still encourage others to engage in "pastoral care" for one another though).  I visit with people and am present with them when a loved is dying, seriously ill, or whatever the case.  I am there to provide words of comfort about God’s love and faithfulness in a time of pain and need.  I am accustomed to that and find it a great privilege to be with people during these times.  And when I provide pastoral care I know that it is not me alone but God working through me.  When I am called to the bedside of someone who is dying; I am in prayer – asking for wisdom, compassion, empathy and the words (if needed) to bring comfort to the loved ones (and/or to the one who is dying).  I am accustomed to providing pastoral care.

But on Sunday (Jan. 13) I found my myself on the other side of the coin – the one receiving pastoral care.  As I mentioned before, this is the first time that I, personally, have had to deal with the death (or impending death) of a loved one since becoming a pastor.  I have dealt with the death of loved ones before, but this seems like new territory for me (can any other pastors relate to this feeling?).

Anyway…following worship on Sunday a number of people expressed their sympathies and told me that I and my family would be in their thoughts and prayers.  All of those comments meant the world to me.  It showed me in a very real way the community we have become – we rejoice with those who are rejoicing and mourn with those who are mourning.  What a great privilege.  Then came "Jane"…

…Jane is a woman who is in her 50s but has the mental capacity of a child.  She attends worship regularly and is as sweet and innocent as a child.  And as a "child" Jane has a hard time understanding and dealing with illnesses and death.  As Jane came through the line, following worship, she shook my hand and said, "I hope your grandma gets better soon".  This took me back a little bit as I responded to her, "Jane, she’s not going to get better."  Of course Jane did not understand this and went on to tell me that she is going to see her "mommy" today.  But it was the person who was in line following Jane that I will remember…

"Mary" was next in line.  After hearing what I said to Jane; Mary said to me, "Pastor, you know that your grandma WILL be better." I knew exactly what she meant.  That comment made my eyes well up with tears as I responded, "You are absolutely right…thank you." 

Once again…God is AWESOME!!!

God gave me exactly what I needed at just the right time through Mary.  Even though I preach the very thing that Mary said to me…I still needed to hear what God said through Mary.  I needed that gentle reminder.  I needed the Gospel proclaimed to me at that moment.  Mary wasn’t correcting me, but rather Mary was providing pastoral care.  To her (and to many others) I say thank you.

I know that as Christian I am never alone…God is always with me.  But I am also glad and thankful I live in such a caring community.  Even though God is always with me, this impending death of my grandma would be difficult alone. 

Thank you God for your awesome love and faithfulness.  Thank you God for giving me (and all your children) exactly what we need.  Thank you God for strengthen me when I need it the most.  Thank you God.  And I thank all of you for your prayers and notes of concern.  I truly appreciate it.  I will keep you updated on how things are going. 

Thanks again and God bless!
-edh-

God is AWESOME!!!

/ The Pastor / 1 Comment

Sunday (Jan. 13) was a difficult morning for me (as I mentioned to you trying to type my Sunday Morning Prayer).  But I should say that it STARTED OUT difficult. It ended up in the awesome glow of God’s amazing love.  Allow me to tell you the story…

On Sunday morning, after I posted the Sunday Morning Prayer, I went up into the sanctuary to prepare for worship.  I run through the sermon one last time and review the bulletin.  I look at the announcements and decide which ones I am going to highlight and in what order.  The final announcement item is always the prayer requests where I highlight the updates from the past week.  And this was where I was planning on telling the congregation what was going on with my grandma.  This was immensely personal, but I wanted, and frankly needed, their prayer support.  I stood in the sanctuary "practicing" the announcements (does that sound weird…to practice announcements?).  Anyway…I was "practicing" the announcements and when I got to the prayer requests my eyes started tearing up and I could not get the words out of my mouth about my grandma.  It was just too hard.  It took me a couple minutes to compose myself and tried again…but to no avail.  Eventually I went to my office; wondering how I was going to do this.  At Salem, Connie said she would come up and help me, but at Belmont I was on my own.  I wondered how I was going to be able to lead worship – I needed strength and focus.  So I prayed…

…then my cell phone rang…

…of course my heart skipped a beat or two when I saw it was my mom.  I remember saying out loud, "Please God, not now.  I can’t handle this now."  With my hands shaking I answered the phone and heard my mom’s voice.  Immediately I knew that I wasn’t going to receive the news I feared at that moment.  Instead mom said that grandma woke up at 2am and was very talkative.  Actually she was more talkative than she had been for months.  At that moment I got goosebumps and felt a strength course through my body.  My tears dried up and I felt a new sense of energy for the morning.  Upon answering the phone I felt I was unable to go on with the morning and lead worship affectively.  But that simple phone call — 5 minutes before I was going to leave for Belmont and as I was praying for strength — I got exactly what I needed.

GOD IS AWESOME!!!

God knew what I needed and gave it to me so I could lead his people in worship and speak through me in the sermon.  God saw my pain and granted me comfort and relief.  And as I sit here, I am still in awe.  Not because I am surprised or blown away that God actually did what He did, but I am blown away by His awesome love, care and concern for one of His hurting children.  God always seems to come through so His purposes can be accomplished.  Not only did God give me the strength and focus to lead worship on Sunday, but God also gave me a testimony to share with others – for His glory.

God is indeed awesome…but there is more to this story…one I will continue later.

Take care and God bless!
-edh-

A difficult day and a prayer request

/ The Pastor / 10 Comments

It is going to be one of those difficult mornings…

…actually…its not like I have these often.  Today is the first time since I became a pastor that I, personally, will have to deal with the eventual death of a loved one.  You see…my grandma is close to death and we expect that to happen any moment now.  I’m having a hard time even typing this so I am wondering how in the world I will even be able to ask my congregations for their prayer support this morning.  My wife said she would handle this for me if I need her…and I just might have to take her up on that offer. 

This will leave me with one grandma left.  My first grandpa died in 1994 from colon cancer and my second grandpa died in 2000 from a massive stroke on the golf course (right where he had always told people he wanted to die).  Of course I know that we don’t live for ever on this earth.  Of course I know that eventually I will be mourning the death of my grandparents (and other loved ones), but it doesn’t make it any easier.  And to top things off, my mom asked me yesterday if I would give the eulogy for the family.  Wow…I said "yes", but now I am wondering if I can.

Now I ask you to please keep me and my family in your prayers as we prepare to say "see you later" to my grandma.  I also ask for your prayers of focus as I lead worship and preach this morning.  Just the thought of grandma sends tears running from my eyes.

But here’s the really cool thing…
we have an amazingly awesome and faithfully loving God!!!

We have a God who send His Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins…that we may have a New Life.  And because of that promise I can say with confidence, "See you later, grandma".  I know that Satan would love nothing more than to distract me all morning…keeping me from proclaiming God’s awesome love to people, but the resurrection is what gives me hope.  So…in the words of Martin Luther I say to Satan, "Go back to hell, where you belong! Because of Jesus, my grandma will live forever and I will see her again…and…I will have another chance to enjoy her delicious pumpkin pie".

So…on that note…please join me in a word of prayer as we begin our mornings/days…
Gracious and loving God, at the baptism of Jesus you sent your Spirit upon him in the form of a dove and announced, "This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."  And by sending Jesus to this earth to live and die and rise again you, in effect, are saying the same thing to us "You are my children, whom I love; with you I am well pleased".  Grant us faith to see in death the gateway to eternal life and strengthen us in that hope that we may proclaim Jesus’ sacrificial love to all.  Lord God (on a personal note) please grant my grandma peace as she leaves this world to be in your loving arms and strengthen me and my family in our faith as we say, "see you later".  In Christ’s name I pray, Amen.

Thank you and God bless!

-edh-