Parenting

Holy Parenting (Ephesians 6:4)

/ The Pastor

image

I claim no expertise in parenting but rather, I claim a strong desire and passion to raise my children to know and love God through Jesus Christ. And that is why I am so drawn to the above verse. I am constantly thinking about ways to be a good example but also thinking about what my children are seeing in me. Children are going to learn about God from their parents. Hopefully they learn a lot at Sunday school and Bible camp and vacation Bible school, but children will learn about loving and living with God by watching their parents.

So parents be mindful.

But not just parents. Church, be mindful. The children are watching you too. Whether you have children or not, they are watching you. When you are in worship; children are watching you. When you are interacting with others; children are watching you. Whether you like it or not you are being recorded by a child’s built in video camera in their brains, so be mindful.

But one of the biggest misconceptions in parenting is that as parents we need to be their child’s “best friend”. Children don’t need that. They have plenty of people to be best friends with. According to scripture, children need parents that will discipline them and teach them to know the Lord.

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. (Proverbs 13:24 ESV)

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t share this verse in order to advocate beating your child. This verse is about a parent’s God-given responsibility to discipline a child when they go astray. How a child is to be disciplined is something for another blog post. But here, parents are not called to be best friends. Parents are called to raise their children to walk the narrow path; disciplining their children out of love not anger.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6 ESV)

And a parent may actually do this but see their child stray from the faith. If this happens, be patient, you have planted a seed. So don’t lose heart. Keep training them in the way they should go. How this training goes will vary from parent to parent but the common thread is, don’t be their best friend, be a faithful example of the Christian life. Love your children but even more than that, love God.

I have said this a number of times but it bears repeating:
The best thing a parent can do for their child(ren) is to love God more than them.

That right there says a lot. Love God above all things and all people and as a parent, you will do fine 🙂

Father God, parenting is hard work. Grant Your Spirit that parents and other adults may have the wisdom it takes to pass the faith on to the next generation. In Jesus name, Amen

The Pastor -|—

My Little Pulpit Visitor

/ The Pastor

Nothing deep and theological here tonight, just a cute worship story involving this pastor/daddy and his little girl.

This morning I was in the pulpit; in the zone and preaching on Mark 9:14-29. It was a serious text (as they all are) on living in the dark valley of life; being confronted by Satan. I was cruising along, when about half way through the sermon I noticed a disturbance in the force…

… my little girl (23 months old) working her way towards the pulpit.

I knew a problem was developing and my wife was otherwise occupied with our 4 1/2 month old son. So I continued and pretended not to notice; hoping there wouldn’t be a problem, but the force is strong in my little girl.

Mayah proceeded to walk in front of the pulpit before she realized she couldn’t reach daddy going that way. She promptly turned around and quickly solved her problem as she found the steps that lead to daddy. Mayah then crawled up the steps and proceeded to position herself in front of me; holding her arms up and waiting for me to pick her up. It took everything in me not to reach down and pick her up. It was even hard not to smile at all this cuteness.

I continue to preach and tried to stay in the zone as Mayah asserted herself ever so quietly (what a polite little girl). She eventually took a break and sat on the steps before trying again to convince me to chuck my sermon and give her the attention she desperately wanted.

Finally she relented and worked her way back down the couple steps and back to mommy. I continued preaching all the while keeping one eye on my little girl; and feeling a little guilty that I didn’t pick her up (and hoping no one noticed my mental distraction).

But I am not surprised by this. I knew this day would come eventually and I know there will be more. I guess this is just part of the joy of being a pastor and a daddy, and you know something, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

The Pastor -|—

Evening Prayer ~ My Son

/ The Pastor

My five month old son…

…is resting peacefully in my arms.

…will gaze into my eyes and smile.

…will sit in his bouncy seat but definitely prefers mommy or daddy’s arms.

…depends on us for food and care.

…can do nothing to cause me to love him less.

…did nothing to earn my love.

…sleeps much better when mommy or daddy is near.

Oh God, if only I would look at you in the same way. If only I would trust you and depend on you like my son trusts and depends on me. If only I could learn a child-like faith like my little boy’s.

Oh God, draw me close that I may see you as a child sees their mommy and daddy.
Draw me close that I may learn to trust you with my life.
Draw me close that I may see the joy of resting in Your arms and know true love.
Draw me close that I may know and remember true peace.

And so may I rest tonight as a child sleeping on their daddy’s chest and may I awake in the morning with a new lease on life; praising and glorifying You. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

The Pastor -|—

The Fighting God (Exodus 14:14)

/ The Pastor

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” [Exodus 14:14]

This short, little verse captured my heart this morning; as God spoke words of comfort after a very long and difficult day.

But first the context of this verse…

The Israelites are being lead out of Egypt by God through Moses and Aaron. God commands the group to head towards the Red Sea and set up camp. Once there, God hardens Pharaoh’s heart and he comes out with everything he has to capture those slaves again.

God did this to show God’s glory.

As they are beside the Red Sea the people see Pharaoh and his army and are scared silly (and a little angry that Moses lead them out here to die). Moses then speaks the word of the Lord to them:

Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (Exodus 14:13-14)

Basically, no need to worry, God has this. You don’t even need to raise one finger. Trust God. God will fight this battle.

With that God parted the Red Sea, the people walked across on dry ground and the rest is history. Praise be to God!

And I needed that verse this morning. Without going into all the details, yesterday was a long and nerve fraying day. I had been up since 2:30 AM with a 4 month old who refused to be put down. My wife was out of town for work. I had two kids not feeling well; both demanding attention and it seemed like at the same time all the time. My toddler was being naughty because she wasn’t getting the attention she demanded. And my 4 month old was difficult to sooth. When I would try to put the younger one down for a nap, the older one would come in crying; waking up the younger.

My emotions and nerves were frayed and I found myself on the verge of tears a number of times. Lots of praying ensued and when Connie finally got home I just crashed.

And then I read this verse this morning:  The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.

[Cue the tears]

Amen!
Praise be to God!
Alleluia!
Thank you!

Have you ever felt defeated or nearly pushed over the edge?
Have you ever felt like the world was ganging up on you?
Have you ever felt like Satan’s onslaughts were going to destroy you?

Have you been there? That was me yesterday, but God fought for me even though I was trying to fight. And this morning God reminded me to give it up to him next time. Satan may try to destroy me in so many ways, and on my own I have no chance but God will fight for me. And God will fight for you.

What an awesome promise.
What a faithful God.

Through Jesus Christ God has defeated Satan but Satan is still trying do as much damage as possible until that day when God makes him a footstool for is Son. So when you see the forces of Satan baring down on you; do not be afraid. The salvation of the Lord has been won for you through faith in Jesus so therefore the Lord will fight for you and the Lord WILL win.

Praise be to God and Alleluia!!!

Thank you, powerful God, that you fight for me. When the forces of evil are marching against me, you are there to push them back. May I have the sight of Elisha to see the chariots of fire around me and may I rest in your promises, oh God. May you be praised, always and forever. Amen.

The Pastor -|—

The Pastor and His Little Girl

/ The Pastor

The heart of this pastor longs to worship and lead worship. Nothing tops praising and thanking God for the hope of the resurrection through faith in Jesus Christ. But dare I say that worshiping with my family, especially my little girl (22 months old), comes in right up there? I say that because this pastor’s heart was touched by his little girl on two occasions this morning during worship.

The first occasion of heart touching (outside of worshiping God of course) came towards the beginning of half of worship. I had just finished presiding over a baptism where I was carrying the cute little baby up and down the aisle to show her off and introduce her to the congregation. I then handed the baby off to her mother and sat down. Just then, from a couple rows back, I heard my little girl crying,

“I want my daddy! I want my daddy!”

The next thing I notice is my little girl coming up to me in my row in tears (my wife broke down and let her come to me). I picked her up and set her on my lap as we listened to scripture being read. I wiped the tears from her eyes and kissed her gently on the cheek; whispering,

“I love you, sweetie”

My little girl just sat there with me very quietly; simply wanting to be near me (my guess is that she was jealous of me carrying the newly baptized baby up and down the aisle). During the final reading I brought her back to her mother and she was fine.

The second occasion of heart touching came during the final song. My routine is to walk up to the front during the final verse (during which time my little girl runs up to join me), I pray silently and then walk out to the narthex; preparing to greet people as they leave. But this time, my little girl was in my row during the first verse so we went up front. I held her tight and said,

“Let’s pray”

She then folded her hands on mine and we prayed. When I finished she said,

“Amen”

So cute
So heart-warming
So wonderful

Worshiping God is great and wonderful and nothing tops that, but I am so glad I get to worship with my family (especially my little girl). And now I look forward to my son (3 1/2 months) to soon start doing the same things as his sister.

The heart of this pastor is definitely bursting, in so many ways.
Thank you, dear God. Thank you.

Praise be to God!!!

The Pastor -|—

My Father’s Arms

/ The Pastor

My 3 1/2 month old son likes to fight sleep when he is lounging in his bouncy seat. He will fuss and thrash and whine and cry. Pacifier or no pacifier, he is not happy until mommy or daddy picks him up. And at that moment he will calm down.

Well…

…I just sat down from living that above episode. Currently my little boy is sleeping soundly in his bassinet. But as I was cradling him in my arms; staring at him, this pastor brain was once again shifting into high gear. Good or bad, I can’t help but work out a “sermon illustration”; especially in a cute and special moment like that. Maybe it is just my faith playing out through my eyes and other senses as the Holy Spirit opens my eyes to see God in various situations.

Whatever the case, as a stared at my sleeping little boy a few words/phrases came to mind:
~ Vulnerable
~ Peaceful
~ At rest
~ Not a care in the world
~ Protected
~ Loved
~ Daddy
~ Child
~ Safe
~ Mine

And as I thought about these words I thought about my heavenly Father. Because really, I don’t experience those words unless I am assured that I am being cradled in my Father’s arms. I am restless and anxious and not at peace if I think I am alone. But that moment when I am reminded of my Father I feel at peace; maybe something like what Malachi was feeling as he drifted off to sleep in my arms.

And when you think about those words, they indeed describe a child of God nestled in the heavenly Father’s arms. Through faith in Jesus this reality is yours. You may forget from time to time. You may think that you are living a nightmare at times but all you need to do is “wake up” and “open your eyes” and see that you are still cradled in your Father’s arms and that those above words are your reality.

Malachi will still have those restless moments and nightmares; that is something I can’t take away. What I can do, though, is always be there to comfort him. In much the same way, our heavenly Father doesn’t take away the nightmares in our lives, but he does continue to hold us. All we need to do is look and see.

So much about the parent/child relationship shines a light on our relationship with our Father in heaven. So maybe this pastor brain/Holy Spirit moment, was nothing more than my Father reminding me of his love for me that I may be at peace. And let me let you, I am feeling peaceful now (and not just because both kids are sleeping). I am feeling at peace in my Father’s arms.

May you feel at peace in your Father’s arms.

Praise be to God!

The Pastor -|—

Not quite awake

/ The Pastor

Sometimes this pastor’s devotion time involves holding my sleeping 3 1/2 month old son while drinking coffee, praying and reading scripture. And then taking time to pound out a few words on my tablet, in case anyone cares what the pastor is doing this morning 🙂

But before you think that I have run out of thoughtful words to share please understand that I am working on 4 hours of sleep and very little coffee up to this point. Trust me, this pastor will be up to full operating capacity in no time and then a more thoughtful post will follow.

And I am guessing that once this first pot of coffee hits my system I may wonder why I wrote this (and posted it).

Oh well

God bless you and I’ll be back with something more thoughtful later 🙂

[I need so much more coffee]

The (not quite awake) Pastor -|—

Theologizing

/ The Pastor

For the past few weeks I have had the growing fear and sadness that my little girl (21 months old) was growing out of wanting to be rocked to sleep.

Our typical bedtime routine is that after she brushes her teeth and gets her jammies on we go into her room to read books (usually she wants daddy to do this, which of course I don’t mind). We read for a while and then pray together (it is uber cute when she folds her hands in mine). I then turn on her night light, start the CD player of lullabies and turn off her light. We then sit in the rocking chair and rock. If she isn’t sleeping by the end of the third song I lay her down in the crib. At nap time, the routine is similar except we just turn on the CD player and shut the lights off and then rock.

Well, this rocking thing hasn’t happened for a while…

…until nap time today.

For some reason my little girl wanted to rock (and who am I to question that). So my little girl curled up in my arms; all comfy in her blanket, and as very quickly off to sleep.

And we rocked and rocked and rocked…

Actually, she was out before the middle of the first song, but I didn’t lay her down then. I just continued to gaze at her and rock and rock and rock…

I didn’t want it to end.

I waited until the full three songs; and probably would had stayed longer if I didn’t need to get back for Wednesday classes at church.

It was such a beautiful moment and I was absolutely thrilled my little girl wanted daddy. But of course this pastor brain of mine started theologizing (I know that’s not a word but I think you get my drift). And it’s hard for a pastor to turn that off. We are always looking for sermon illustrations and teaching points and often times children provide the fodder.

In any case…

There are so many things about that moment today that remind me of God. But, I don’t think I am not going to share them with you.

Nope, I’m not.

I think I am just going to leave the moment as it is and let you imagine ~ and theologize. If you know God through Jesus Christ then you see it. You understand. You know what I am talking about. So I don’t have to say anything. To say anything more risks ruining the moment so I’ll let the Spirit continue where I leave off…

The Pastor -|—

Morning devotions ~ Be still

/ The Pastor

This pastor so needed the devotion from yesterday; to be still and know that God is God. To be still and listen to the voice of God. To be still and be at peace. I so needed that, but that is not what happened.

———————

My little girl woke up this morning at 5:30 a.m. crying,

“I want my daddy! I want my daddy!”

Tired, and a little cranky that I was getting up earlier than planned, I acquiesced to my little girl’s cry. We rocked for a while and then I laid her back down when she seemed to be sleeping, but immediately she started crying for me again. I returned to her room and sat in the rocking chair next to her crib. I then reached my hand through the crib and caressed her head; and she calmed down. Whenever I tried to leave she would cry. Eventually I fell asleep in the rocking chair…

[I’m not sure why she wanted this snoring beast next to her]

…and woke up just after 8 a.m. (I had a 9 a.m.baptism meeting). This was not how my morning was supposed to start. I bolted out of her room: showered, made coffee, ate (all the while my little girl is screaming for me) and got dressed. My wife woke up and help her but she still wanted daddy.

Be still and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)

All I wanted was to be still and know that God is God.
All I wanted was time alone with God before I started my day.
All I wanted was to hear God’s voice.
All I wanted was some encouragement as I prepared to finish two sermons today.
All I wanted was God.

And God did acquiesce to my request. God gave me a beautiful moment this morning and all I could think about was that it wasn’t what I planned. As a pastor friend of mine told me yesterday in a blog post comment,

“God made the time and gave it to you”

God definitely made the time for me this morning but I missed it.
Oh God, please forgive me for being so selfish and short-sighted.

Definitely carve out moments to get away and enjoy the fact that God is God, but don’t miss the moments that God carves out for you. Don’t be so short-sighted and selfish like I was this morning but rather…

Be still and know that God is God.

…and then actually pay attention and listen.

Holy Father, thank you for the holy moments that you create. May I have the eyes of faith to see them.

Praise be to God and Amen.

The Pastor -|—

Children of Our Heavenly Father

/ The Pastor

Children of the heavenly Father 
safely in his bosom gather; 
nestling bird nor star in heaven 
such a refuge e’er was given. 

Caring for my children is such a joy: feeding them, kissing boo boos, rocking them to sleep, wrestling on the floor with them, and even getting them a drink of water. I just can’t get enough of showering them with my love.

When I do something for my little girl I just love how she says, “Thank you daddy. I love you.” It is the most adorable thing ever. I will then say, “You’re welcome sweetie” to which she will repeat herself and this goes on. So cute.

As children of our heavenly Father, do you ever think of responding to God’s love like my daughter does to me?

“Thank you, Daddy. I love you.”

God longs to shower His children with love and I about imagine He longs to hear His children respond like my daughter does. God is not some distant God but one who gets down on the floor with His children and wrestles with them. He is there to kiss boo boos and he is there to comfort you.

But best of all, through faith in Jesus, we are gathered safely into His bosom forever. What a refuge, never has anything been given like it.

Dear God, thank you, daddy. I love you. Amen.

The Pastor -|—