Ode to Coffee

I am a pastor but you can’t be serious all the time, and thus what you will read next. On March 2, I wrote my Ode to Bacon, so it only seemed appropriate (for this coffee snob) to follow that up with my Ode to Coffee. Enjoy…and then go have some coffee 🙂


Oh coffee, oh coffee,
You provide so much glee.
You are most glorious.
Anyone will agree.

The bean of great glory,
YES, you certainly are.
Never out of my mind,
Always on my radar.

Oh most perfect of drinks,
A precious gift from God.
If my wife reads this poem,
She will think I’m most odd.

Oh coffee, oh coffee,
I cannot go without.
“Would you like a refill?”
“Well duh, without a doubt.”

Parable of the Lost Coffee Thermos

The following is dangerously close to being sacrilegious so please read with tongue in cheek (based on true events that actually happened to me recently)…

“Or what man, having a rockstar coffee thermos, if he loses it, does not search diligently his home and office, and even the Starbucks across the street until he finds it? And when he has found it, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the coffee thermos that I had lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents…and definitely over the found coffee thermos.”
[Luke 15:8-10…or something close to it]

The lost has been found!

That time of the year

About this time of the year I start feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Holy Week is bearing down on us; there are classes to prepare for; Sunday worship to prepare for; I have a funeral this week and that is all among anything else I usually do doing the week.  I expressed this feeling to my wife this past Saturday.  And…when I started feeling overwhelmed one would think I would turn to God for help, but often times I try to work harder to make sure I handle everything alright, but this week God has had a sense of humor and thus has humbled me.

Later in the day on Saturday (after I expressed my feeling of being overwhelmed) my wife and I discovered we had an unwelcome visitor in our basement.  My suspicion was a chipmunk or squirrel.  On Sunday after worship we went downstairs to check things out.  And there it was…a squirrel.  I chased it around for a while and was getting close to chasing it out the door, but it decided it wanted to stay.  The next few days entailed me searching the basement high and low for the pesky thing. I would see evidence of it once in a while and actually saw it once, but it quickly ran and hid.  I set a rat trap, but it just sprung the trap and took the bait.  Smart little creature.  Eventually, on Thursday, the squirrel let down it’s guard and got caught in the trap.  No more squirrel.  As frustrating as it was, when I look back on the last few days, it was kind of funny.

Now…today…I went over to the church to get the mail.   I dropped off the church mail in the office and brought mine to my office.  As I was walking back to the parsonage I realized my pocket felt a little lighter.  Yup…I locked my keys in my office for the very first time.

“Yes God…I get it.  You are in control.”

Today is my day off and I am enjoying my weird little circumstances from the past week and I am smiling.  And you know something…I am not feeling too overwhelmed right.  God is indeed in control…

…and praise be to God!

But please God…no more squirrels.


A sign that describes me

CORRECTION Zombies Ahead

[By Chris Nakshima-Brown, Associated Press – Ap]
I have been sick with a nasty cold this week.  Part of me wants to put this sign in the church parking lot and make the text singular…it kind of describes how I am feeling.

(Sorry for the pictures recently…I have been feeling lazy with this cold)

God bless!


Getting peed on

I went to text study this morning at Shalom Hill Farm, as I do most Tuesdays (O.K…some Tuesdays) and I experienced a first…

…I got out of my car and was greeted by the dog they have out there.  Nice little dog.  Wags its tail, but doesn’t get overly excited and jump on you.  Since I have a allergy to dogs I don’t pet the little guy.  Maybe it took offense to this finally because when I turned around (I am not sure why) I saw the little creep (notice my tone changing) lift its leg…and…pee on the bumper of my car.   Not the tire, but the bumper.  By the time I got over there to shoo it away,he had finished his business…and I a swear…I saw a little smirk on his face as he walked away.

I went inside (with my bumped dripping) and saw a couple colleagues.  I told them the story (which they got a kick out of) and soon I began to laugh along.  Of course…immediately…we went into “pastor mode” wondering if there is a sermon illustration in there some place.

<More laughing ensued>

I suggested a baptismal illustration; of God peeing on us and claiming us as his own.

<More laughing ensued>

Then I suggested, “I think I might have to flush that one out some more.”

<And more laughing ensued>

Moral of the story…well…maybe there isn’t one…except that if you pee on my bumper, I will talk about you on my blog.

<I needed a good laugh today>

God bless!


The slinky Gospel


Why is this simple little toy so hard to put down (except, of course, for this picture)?

I am trying to resist the urge to find a way to work this into a sermon sometime.  But wouldn’t it be fun to have a contest to see who can come up with the most creative way to incorporate a slinky into a sermon.

Hmmm….”Stop it Eric”…

…anyway…when I was in seminary, the on-going joke among my group of friends during my senior year was how to compare Jesus to an armadillo at Christmas time(don’t ask me how that started).

So…if you want to submit an idea (about the armadillo or slinky) I would love to read it 🙂


SIDE NOTE:  I know these last couple posts have been a little more light-hearted with little depth, but don’t worthy…I will post some depth soon.

My stop light head

Yesterday (Saturday) I spent the day on West Okoboji Lake boating with some friends.  It was a windy and choppy day on the lake, but it was beautiful.  We had a great time.  The problem is that despite the fact that I put on sunscreen, my big ole forehead still got sunburned (my receding hairline exposes more forehead to get burnt).  Now my head looks like one big spot light.  And against the whiteness of my alb this morning, my head should glow all the more brighter for the congregation to see.  Maybe I should stand out on the corner of Hwy 71 and North Highway and see if my head could stop traffic.

This should be a fun morning 🙂