Birth Mother’s Day 2017

Some of you who stop by here regularly may (or may not) know that I am a proud daddy. My wife and I adopted our daughter, Mayah, in April 2013 and then adopted our son, Malachi in November 2014. They did not come from our DNA but we love them as if they did; for this was God’s plan for our lives. Some may be tempted to think that we adopted because we were unable to have children biologically ~ Yes and no. We weren’t able to have children in that way; not because of physical reasons (both of us were perfectly able to conceive children), but rather, God intervened, and praise be to God for that. After years of “trying” we finally answered God’s call. Long story short, 10 months after starting the adoption process, Mayah came into our lives. Eighteen months later, Malachi joined the family. God’s plan for our family, after He refined us through the fire of a failed adoption, was for us to parent these two beautiful children.

Why am I writing about this now? Well, today is an often forgotten day for many. Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. So much hoopla goes into that day, and rightly so. Our mother’s deserve this kind of attention but today is Birth Mother’s Day. This day is always the day before Mother’s Day with the purpose of remembering those loving mother’s who made a decision many of us can not even fathom. They may not be mothering a particular child today, but they showed an incredible love in deciding that it was in the best interest of their child to be raised by someone else. For whatever reason, these mother’s, instead of aborting their baby, carried them to full term in order that their baby could have a chance at life; a life given by God. These mother’s saw the baby in their womb as a living being who deserved to live, even if they couldn’t support their child. They recognized that their were others who were very able and willing to raise children, even through it was not happening for them biologically. These mother’s are special people who had the forethought and insight to do what they did and thus deserve their day.

Each night, during our prayers, we pray for Mayah and Malachi’s respective birth mommies. We don’t hide the fact that they are adopted. We celebrate this. We talk about their respective stories and we honor their birth mommies. So if you know of a mother who has made this difficult but loving decision, make sure you honor them as Mother’s Day may be a difficult day for them. Thank God for these special people. We certainly do, and not just today, but each and every day.

Happy Birth Mother’s Day 🙂

The (daddy) Pastor -|—

An Open Letter to a Birth Mother

Dear birth mother,

I can’t imagine how you must be feeling this day; the eve of Mother’s Day, knowing that you are not mothering the child you brought into this world. But I want you to know how thankful I am for you and for your courage. You made the difficult choice to place your child for adoption. But not only that, you made it possible for me to be a father and my wife to be a mother.

For the longest time I struggled with why God had not chosen me to be a father. I struggled with a God watching my wife and me struggle to get pregnant. I struggled to watch others around me parent children while I waited and wondered; will it ever happen for me? For the longest time I struggled, but through God you brought our struggle to an end.

And now…

Not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for the child you entrusted us to raise.
Not a day goes by that I don’t look at my child and smile.
Not a day goes by that I don’t consider your sacrifice.

In my eyes you are an amazing woman and my child (your child) will grow up to know how amazing you are as well. We will never stop speaking of you. We will never stop praying for you. We will never stop remembering you.

But I also want you to know that even though my child does not contain my DNA, that does not mean my love for them is lessened in anyway. The child you brought into this world is loved beyond measure. But even though I love my child there is one that I love more than them: God. And because of this they will know God and His amazing love for His children. And my prayer is that this child will grow to share that love with others.

Birth mother, know that you are remembered, cherished and loved. Your choice will never be forgotten. Your sacrifice will always be remembered. And even though you brought an end to our struggles I recognize that your’s may continue. And so if it is of any comfort to you, know that your child is being showered with love every single moment.

I thank you, again, for entrusting your child to me and I pray that you may always know the love of your heavenly Father. You gave your child up in an attempt to give them a better life (and I pray that I won’t let you down) and God gave up his Son, Jesus, that you may live forever.

So on this Birth Mother’s Day I celebrate you. You may not be “mothering” the child you brought into this world but you will always be a mother in my eyes.

May God bless you always and forever.

Sincerely,
A grateful father

The Pastor -|—