My wife’s "adopted" grandmother (Alpha) died on Sunday afternoon (9/3/06) at around 3:45pm.  You may be wondering why I said "adopted", well here is the story:

My wife’s family moved to Dawson (my hometown as well) in about 1972 (before Connie was born).  The house they were looking at was a nice two story home.  It had a finished basement with a couple bedrooms.  The second story contained a full apartment with an added bonus…a sweet lady by the name of Alpha.  That right there was worth the price of the home.  If you knew Alpha you would agree with me without hesitation.  She was priceless.

Connie’s parents bought the house; with Alpha in it and all.  And in no time flat, Alpha became an adopted member of the family.  She became the kid’s third grandmother and virtually their only babysitter.  Alpha loved the family and they loved her.  Alpha became so much apart of the family that it is kind of strange to use the adjective "adopted".  Alpha was their grandmother and a very special person.

The years went by and kids grew up.  Eventually they moved out of the house.  And then about three years ago, Connie’s parent sold the house and moved to Sioux Falls.  By this time Alpha was living in the nursing home in Dawson; a place she spent nearly everyday visiting others.  You see, Alpha had the kindest heart I know; always thinking of others. 

Even though they were no longer living together, this family never grew apart.  Alpha was sad because she would not see the Hanson family as much.  And the Hanson family was sad as well because they would not see Alpha as much.  But, like I said, they never grew apart.  They were always in each other’s thoughts and prayers.  Because that is how it goes with family.

Alpha’s biological family was small.  Cancer took Alpha’s husband away after five years of marriage, but it did not take Alpha’s soul. She has some nieces and nephews and a couple great-nieces and nephews.  They loved her very much as well, but they were even farther away.  They visited when they could and called her nearly every week.

Alpha was always quick with a joke.  Every time Connie and I would visit her she had one for us.  I remember her telling us this "shady" joke (as Alpha called it) about a couple strawberries caught in bed together and something about being in a jam.  She laughed and laughed when she told us and one couldn’t help but laugh along.  That joke was probably the "dirtiest" one she ever told.  Her sense of humor stuck with her to the end.

Alpha also loved to tell stories about Connie, Mary and Todd (Connie’s siblings).  There was one about Mary pushing Todd into a snowbank when he was little.  But her favorite story was when Todd was little and he told Alpha to "buzz off".  She thought that was so cute.

Alpha was kind to everyone she met.  While in the nursing home she insisted that when she was in her room, sitting in the wheelchair, that she be facing the hallway so she could see who was passing by.  She was a people person and everyone loved to stop and chat with her.  She will be greatly missed.

Alpha is no longer with us now.  For my wife, it is a time of mourning and a time of reflection.  Questions like:  "Did I do enough?"  resonate in her head.  That is a tough question to answer.  And it is a question we can all ask about our loved ones.  There can always be one more phone call.  There can always be one more visit.  There can also always be one more "I love you".  You can sit and focus on this, but you will either drive yourself crazy or drive yourself to depression.  Instead of focusing on what you could have done, focus on the love you shared with that person.  Focus on those memories and lessons you experienced and learned.  That is what is important.  The past is the past and that can not be changed.  Focus on what you can do in the future.  "Did I do enough?" If you loved them you did a lot.

Alpha will be missed.  I did not know her all that well, but it feels like I did.  It will feel weird going to the nursing home and not seeing her.  It will be hard to walk by Alpha’s room and not become overwhelmed by feelings and memories.  And I will do my best to comfort my wife.  She will have the hardest time.

But there is something comforting we can hold on to.  Consider this: because of Jesus Christ, you will have a chance to meet Alpha someday.  She is waiting for us; standing side by side with our Lord and Savior.  You will meet this angel and then you will know her.  Alpha made this world a better place, I can only imagine how awesome she has made heaven.  I can hardly wait to see her again.  For death is not "good bye", but rather, "see you later".  Jesus made sure of that.

See you later, Alpha.  We will see you soon.  Praise be to God and Amen! -EDH-

You are so mysterious as you dance from log to log.  Your flames are never the same.  I stare at you like I was waiting for a message from you just for me.  I look at you mesmerized by your ever changing appearance.  Just when I think I have you figured out, you surprise me time and time again.  One minute you seemly draw weak and your presence seems so distant.  But your intensity lurks in the glowing embers.  Your not so weak after all.  As I draw close to you, I am quickly reminded of your power.  Even though I see no flame it doesn’t mean you are not there.  It’s your sneaky way of keeping me close.

You provide warmth and security in a cold world.  You provide light in the darkness.  When I am near you the darkness doesn’t seem so threatening.  The darkness lurks around me, but it does not hold a candle to you. You quickly remind me that you are the one.  The cold world around me takes a shot at me as well.  It closes in, threatening to replace your warmth.  But you will have none of that.  You beckon me to move closer to you and I feel safe again as the coldness is pushed way.

But then I become too complacent.  I take you for granted.  I move back and sit motionless expecting you to do all the work.  I get tired of moving.  Our relationship becomes one sided.  I start to feel alone.  Coldness sees an opportunity and jumps on it.  Darkness begins to make its move.  Then I realize what I have done.  I let our relationship grow cold.  I have stopped encountering you.  I have mistakenly thought I could keep myself warm and safe through other means.  So I stoke our relationship.  I come to you and all of a sudden you roar back into my life.  I feel your warmth and I realize that you never went anywhere.  You were always there.

I never want to leave the warmth and security you provide.  Light the fire in my soul, Oh Lord.  You provide all that I need for this life and the next.  Why would I ever think I could survive without you.  Keep me close to you and never let the darkness overcome me.  You are my light and my salvation.  You are my safe refuge.  Oh Lord my God, rekindle the flame within me so I may be a light in this cold dark world. 

You are so mysterious as you dance with me.  You are always the same; your love for me never changes.  I stare at you like I was waiting for a message from you just for me.  And the message is this:  You died and rose from the grave just for me.  The fire in my soul has indeed been lit.  I feel safe again. 

Can YOU feel the warm glow of God in your life?  -EDH-

My desk is full of clutter (or stuff), but everything has a purpose and is arranged in a certain way.  Most of the stuff on my desk are notes and papers that need to be attended to soon.  They come and go each day or week.  Other things are decorations or office essentials, like my paper clip dispenser or my stapler. I don’t think much about those.  But there are some other things on my desk that do have special meaning.  It is these I want to talk about.

Starting to my right there is a picture frame that has four individual frames are various sizes connected together.  One picture is mine and Connie’s wedding picture.  It should be a no-brainer why I have that picture staring at me.  The next one is of me holding my niece Meara at her first Christmas (I need to update this as Meara is growing up very quickly).  The third picture is me holding Meara when I baptized her.  This was an awesome day for me that I felt honored to be part of.  And the last one is a family picture.  We take a new picture every Christmas.  A tradition I started a couple years ago.  This picture frame is an important piece on my desk; and reminds me of how important my family is to me.  I can’t imagine life without them.

As I pan to the left I see my computer monitor with pieces of paper taped to it.  But each piece of paper has an important purpose.  The one on my bottom left is the scripture verse from 1 Peter 5:6-8 where it talks about humility; casting our anxieties on Christ; and disciplining ourselves.  It reminds me to stay focused and grounded.  It’s not about me but about Christ.  To the right of this piece of paper is an excerpt from Martin Luther’s commentary on Hebrews.  This reminds me about the nature of my ministry where it says "…to follow the bare voice of God and to be led and driven rather than to drive."  God is in control, not me.  On the top right hand side is my personal mission statement.  It talks about the four "E’s" of ministry: Engage, Enlighten, Enable and Empower.  It is the mission I wrote in seminary and has guided me ever since.  And next to that is Salem’s mission statement.  This reminds me of what the church’s mission is and that we need to be outward focused and not inward focused.  All of these pieces of paper remind we of why I am here and what I am called to do.  They may look like junk to the naked eye, but to mine, they are little treasures.

Panning to the left a few more inches is my computer tower.  On the top is a picture that had a huge impact on my life and ministry 10 years ago.  It is a picture that my mom gave me when I was going through a rough time at Bible camp.  The summer was 1995 and it was my first summer as a program director.  There were only three returning staff members out of about 30.  You can about imagine that we had our challenges.  But to make a long story short, it was one long summer.  I am not sure  how I survived.  But despite not have any fond memories of that summer, I did learn and important message…thanks to my mom.

The picture my mom gave me is one of an eagle.  It looks like it is flying low over some water.  Coming from the tail end of the eagle it looks like water spraying so it must have been trying to scoop up a fish.  On the top of the picture in capital letters is the word "LEADERS".  But on the bottom in smaller type it says, "Leadership is action, not position".  That phrase hit me square in the eyes when I needed it the most.  I was trying to be a leader that summer through my position, not through my actions.  I am not saying all the failures that summer were my fault, but I certainly did not help matters.  My next two summers were awesome.  Thanks mom!

But that picture also reminds me of a scene in scripture.  In John chapter 13 Jesus is with his disciples shortly before he is to be arrested.  As the meal is being served Jesus does something strange.  Jesus gets a bowl of water, a towel and proceeds to wash the feet of the disciples.  Everyone is amazed.  But Jesus goes on to say that he has set an example for them to follow.  We are to "wash the feet" of others.  In other words, we are to serve others; lead/serve through actions.  Jesus knew that people were not going to follow him strictly based on his words or through his extraordinary claims.  Jesus knew he must serve others because that is how God’s love is truly shown.  People respond to actions because they are more real than words can be.  Actions show that your serious.

We are good at talking a good talk, but can we walk a good walk.  I can sit here and talk about how important my family is, but if I don’t show them, I am just blowing hot air.  I can talk about mission statements and powerful scripture verses, but if I don’t respond to their message, I am only speaking idle words.  Leadership is about action, not only words and definitely not about position.  Be an example to others.  Show love rather than just talk about it.

God did not just talk about love, God showed it through the cross.  God was and is serious about you.  God was/is not about lip service.  God is about action.  See the cross and be reminded of God’s love.  See your neighbor and be reminded to serve.  Praise be to God and Amen! -EDH-